Persuasion and perseverance
One of the hardest jobs I ever had was selling coffee in London. In my twenties, I started at a brand new company with no established customer base. Armed with a London A to Z street map, a newly bought suit, and some business cards, I picked a street and walked into every restaurant, café, and shop, trying to sell coffee. It was starting absolutely from zero.
Getting thrown out of great restaurants
The numbers were brutal at first. I’d visit anywhere between 7 to 20 restaurants to secure one tasting appointment. Of those tastings, only half would convert to sales. Those conversion rates improved dramatically over time, not because I mastered some magic sales script but because I learned what drives decisions.
The myth of the perfect pitch
“If I say the right thing, in the right order, I can persuade anyone and get the result I want.” That’s what I used to believe as a young salesperson. I’d ruminate on interactions, cursing perceived mistakes or flaws in my approach as the reason behind an unsuccessful transaction. Of course, now, I know that is not true.
The reasons people buy what you’re selling or click on your content are complex and multi-sided. Humans have a much smaller agency than we believe: we can only control ourselves and our behaviour (and sometimes not even that).
The paradox of persuasion
Today, I want to share lessons from my experiences and the great Dr. Robert Cialdini, behavioural scientist and author of Influence and Pre-Suation. This article explores a paradox: on the one hand, persuasive techniques are helpful, and strong communication and negotiation skills matter. On the other hand, Cialdini’s principles (and my experience) suggest that while these techniques have an impact, they are just one part of a much larger puzzle.
No amount of smooth talking can compensate for a product that isn’t right for the problem at hand or bad timing in the buyer’s journey. Making a sale mainly involves aligning the right product with the right problem and person at the right time. And if you’re obsessing over any single deal, it might be a sign you need to work with more people or opportunities.
Selling coffee in the rain in London
It was a grind, full of rejection and soul-crushing days. Yet, after a year of pounding the pavement, I had brewed a small but loyal group of customers—a small batch, if you will.
Here’s what I learned:
- Emotional Management: Rejection was constant. I’d call my sales manager despondent because I’d been thrown out of another restaurant. He’d say, “Take that negative energy and use it to fuel going into ten more places.” Another time, I’d ring him saying, “They’ve confirmed the sale!” he’d say, “Take that positive energy and use it to fuel going into ten more places.”
- Authenticity: When asked, “Who else do you supply?” I couldn’t fake social proof. I learned that a cheerful “nobody yet!” was far more effective than squirmy half-truths. People appreciate honesty.
- Perseverance: I kept going despite hating not having customers and feeling quietly desperate. In rain or shine, I showed up. And then something unexpected happened: I made such a nuisance of myself at a major account that the coffee company I was competing against, Darlington’s Coffee, offered me a job as their national sales manager. It turned out to be one of the best roles I ever had.
- Luck: Let me add that luck and convergence play a role—by doing the other things, you’re giving yourself more chance that provenance pays a visit.
Lessons from Dr. Robert Cialdini
When I first picked up Influence, I loved it immediately. Cialdini’s work lays out the science behind what makes people say “yes” and the principles that influence decisions. As someone who’s navigated the highs and lows of sales and marketing, I found his ideas insightful and reassuring. Some things I’d been doing instinctively; others, I tested and found effective.
Cialdini’s principles have stuck with me, underpinning much of my approach to sales and marketing. Here’s a quick refresher on his six fundamental principles:
- Reciprocity: People feel obliged to return favours, even small ones. Cialdini writes, “The rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us.” Even small gestures (like offering a free coffee tasting or sharing helpful advice) can create a sense of indebtedness and open the door to more meaningful interactions.
2. Commitment and Consistency: Once people commit to something, they’re more likely to stick with it.
3. Social Proof: People follow the actions of others, especially in uncertain situations. “We view a behaviour as more correct in a given situation to the degree that we see others performing it,” says Cialdini.
4. Authority: We’re more likely to be influenced by credible experts.
5. Liking: We say “yes” to people we like or similar to us.
6. Scarcity: The more limited something is, the more we want it.
The awkward art of cold-calling
Cold calling is one of the most uncomfortable experiences in sales. I used to wonder if I’d ever get over the awkwardness of that first call—tripping over my words, feeling painfully uncertain. I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as a perfect cold call. It’s always a little uncomfortable. The key is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. There’s only one worse thing than making an imperfect cold call: not making the call.
Procrastination is emotional; sometimes, the battle is even making the call. My advice? Make your first call early, around 9 a.m., when people are more receptive, and get it out of the way. It makes everything else feel easier. And then make some more.
From cold calling to sliding into DMs
The fundamentals of persuasion have stayed the same, but the channels have evolved. Today’s cold email messages have replaced door-to-door visits, and messaging is delivered straight to a mobile device in everyone’s pocket.
Yet Cialdini’s principles remain surprisingly relevant: social proof now manifests in online reviews; reciprocity shows up in valuable content sharing and thoughtful comments; and authority is built through thought leadership articles and expert positioning.
What I learned about knocking on restaurant doors in London still applies to digital outreach: success is about volume, timing, and authentic connection.
Build your empire
Cialdini’s principles are timeless, but their application keeps evolving. Today’s empire-building means mastering both traditional persuasion and modern tools. It means understanding when to use scaling tools to expand your outreach and when to pick up the phone for that personal touch. It means knowing that while technology might be the medium and the channel, it can’t replace human connection and trust-building fundamentals.
Want to build your empire? It takes a relentless, skilful, and cheerful approach to sales and marketing – whether you’re knocking on doors or sliding into LinkedIn DMs. If that’s what you’re after, let’s chat. Give me a call before I call you!